Thursday, September 11, 2008

Am I getting stronger?

I am so proud of myself today. I am getting stronger. Yes, I still have my share of days that are hard, but I am getting so much stronger than the day before. I know that this is a random post, but I have to share. Today something happened to me at Safeway that I have long been dreading. People run into me all the time and most don't ask about where my other son is. Most people know the story. A couple of weeks ago a woman at our local restaurant that Kyle and I go to often had to ask. I don't blame her. She served us dinner just days before I was put into the hospital. She celebrated with us the upcoming delivery of two baby boys. She very carefully asked if something had happened to my other baby. I was strong enough with the support of my close friend by my side to share with her the story of Jackson. I appreciated her asking and not dismissing that I have two sons, not just one.

Well today a dear friend from church that has such a strong heart made a little mistake that I know embarrassed her. If you read this, please know that this is just what I needed. Truthfully, it was a way for God to show me that I am emotionally getting stronger. Anyways...Bronson and I were taking one of our walks down to Safeway to fill a prescription for Kyle when I ran into her. She looked at my single jogging stroller and said, where is your other baby? I know that you have two, but I always see you with just one. (I have seen her several times at church, but this does happen). I said, nope I only have one. She then approached me and said again, why do I always think that you have two. I very gently reminded her that yes, I did have two, but I now only have one. She felt terrible, but seriously there is no harm done. I am glad that she recognizes and remembers that I am the mother of twins. I do have two babies, one of them just earned their wings a little early.

I just recognized as I walked home that I was stronger than the day before because only a week ago this might have made me shed tears all the way home. As I write this for some reason the tears start to come. I am sad, yet happy that I am becoming a stronger mommy. As my birthday approaches tomorrow I wanted to share a quick picture of myself last year happily pregnant with my twin boys.