Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Eve 2012

Bronson has had an amazing day. Nana got him a full NASA costume and he thought it would be a wonderful Christmas outfit for Christmas Eve service. Ashley wasn't able to make it over the mountain to celebrate because of her recent hospital stay, but praise God she got out in time to spend Christmas  with Oaklen and Joe. Bronson has kept me quite entertained the last couple of days and he showed me several off the cuff impressions from movies. He was able to do Mrs. Doubtfire, Casper, Sgt. Bilko, Ed, Monkey Spy, Nightmare before Christmas, Toy Story, Cop and a Half, and Big Daddy (from the time daddy let him watch it while fast forwarding scenes.) I have not laughed that hard in a long time.

I am so glad that we decided to make Christmas Eve service at Grace a priority. It was such a blessing to me. The other big blessing was being able to spend lots of time snuggling my 3 month old nephew Hanson. I am an extremely Auntie and Mommy.

Dates, Dates, and More Dates

2012 has marked the first year since Bronson was born that his birthday and any preceding event that happened during my pregnancy lands on the exact day of the week that it did in 2007. I will admit that it has taken my breath away a couple of times. One very personal day I was helped out of my funk by discovering that one of my dearest friends would be having her own little baby. I don't think she was expecting quite my reaction; but I felt abundantly blessed to know that she would be a mommy.

Today Bronson caught me completely off guard. I admit that I have been keeping my emotions under my sleeve. Not being able to spend Christmas with Ashley this year was harder than I imagined. I think it hurt worse because she mentioned that she hated to miss it if it was her last. I don't even let my mind go there. She is my baby sister. We are supposed to have many years together and share being mommies together. So this is why when out of nowhere Bronson appeared very somber on the couch and said that he really missed his brother my emotions got the best of me. He is far too young to explain his entire birth/pregnancy story with, but I know that he truly does feel a sense of loss at not having his brother. I notice the more and more he watches other sibling relationships he longs for what he doesn't have.

Tonight he got quite indignant with me when he asked to see pictures and I showed him the few ultrasound pictures that I have in an album. He wanted a picture of his brother. When I explained that   I didn't have one for the second time this week he got upset and asked why. The best answer I could give him was the honest one; Daddy and Mommy were too sad when we saw Jackson because we knew his spirit was already in heaven so we didn't take any pictures. This seemed to appease him, but  I know this will not be the last of these conversations. Does anyone have any suggestions for dealing with twin loss or sibling loss?

Monday, December 3, 2012

Kings and Fairies

Christmas is bringing out the best stories from Bronson. He already sent a letter to Santa telling him that mommy should be on the naughty list and should not get any presents. When Kyle and I noticed that Santa had sent him the exact same letter back the second time we decided to ad lib the response and a Bronson was so excited to hear his Dad's added PS...I heard your mommy was naughty and unless it changes before Christmas she will stay on the naughty list. Bronson laughed so hard and celebrated by giving fist pumps to his daddy that is on the nice list.

As I was giving him a bath tonight he decided to tell me all about a project they are doing at school. He explained that they were making stables with baby Jesus. He ends the story by saying there was even animals, Mary, Joseph, the kings, and the fairies...I shook my head as I asked if he meant angels. Hahahaha

It should be very interesting this year because one of the gifts Bronson has asked for does not exist. When I told him that I had looked everywhere he nicely told me that he would just ask Santa because he could make anything. We were to going to be a crazy Santa house, but I sure love the imagination of a child.