Monday, November 25, 2013

My Happiness



Yesterday Kyle and I took Bronson on a quick trip to Woodburn to purchase shoes for our upcoming Disney trip. I seriously felt as if I was walking in a dream come true movie as my little family joined hands (with Bronson in the middle) and went in search of the "five-year-old store." My thoughts were confirmed when Bronson asked his daddy last night before bed if the entire day was just a dream because it was just so good. I am beginning to realize that despite all of the bad stuff or sad stuff that comes my way I am beyond blessed.

The look that Kyle and I exchanged as our little love bug held both of our hands was one of those looks that can't be explained with words. Our hearts are just overjoyed with our boy. Last night his sense of humor, imagination, and personality made my heart bubble over with happiness. I realized as I fell asleep last night that when I need a really good laugh or to be reminded that there is good in this world I just have to look over at the sweet little boy that calls me mama and know that my prayers have been answered.

Some Bronson funnies for the night:

(Arms around my neck and practically sitting on my lap in the booth at dinner:) Hey babe, wanna go on a date with me tomorrow? Hey mama, I wonder if you are wishing that I was your boyfriend because I look so cute with my flatbill. (No confidence needed for this boy).

Hey honey, wanna go see a competition with me tomorrow? When I asked him what type of competition we were going to see he responded that he wants to compete in scooter races. He then asked me if we could go clubbin' so that we could dance.

I have no idea where Bronson comes up with half of the stuff that he does, but I enjoy being a part of his imaginary world where he thinks that a flatbill makes him a teenager and gives him endless scenarios for dates. No worries...he won't be dating until he is 30. ;P



New November

Years ago, I wrote a blog titled, November Neverland. I remember thinking when I wrote that that I couldn't imagine ever going through the month of November with a smile on my face. To even think that I could get through the 18th or 20th of November without a tear shed was something that I could hardly imagine. I am super happy and full of praise to report that God delivered me a "God-sized" amount of love and support this year. I not only got through both days successfully, but I felt such love and support from my friends. I didn't do anything sentimental or blogworthy, but I truly enjoyed those days. I did what one of my friends described as turning the days into "love days."

I know without a doubt that I have a sweet little baby waiting for me in heaven. I like to think of Jackson as my anchor in heaven. Instead of being sad that he had to leave me and I never got the chance to hold him here on earth I am choosing to smile that is safe and in the arms of Jesus. The Lord has blessed me more than I am able to even explain when he granted me the ability to be Bronson's mommy. My son delights me and gives me comparisons that I know mirror just a glimpse of how much the Lord loves me. God is so good!

I don't want a moment to pass in my life that I don't offer praise to God for loving me. This month has been amazing on so many levels. As I wrote about before the Women's Retreat that our church held was just what my heart needed to mend relationships in my heart and to tear down walls so that others had the chance to ask me about my relationship with the Lord. Please continue to pray that my testimony would be used for His kingdom. I am very excited about the stirring that it has already done in a few women's hearts.

December will be a month of many celebrations. We are taking our son to Disneyland to celebrate his 6th birthday. Kyle and I will also be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary and I beyond excited to surprise him more than I ever have. I will be blogging about this surprise after the fact as it is probably the most romantic thing that I have ever planned. My love tank is very full and I am so thankful.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Women's Retreat 2013

This weekend I was asked by a very good friend of mine, Alex Graber to share my testimony at Women's Retreat. I was trying to decide whether or not to post it on my blog, but have decided to refrain at this time as I feel that part of a testimony is the ability to interact with your listeners. I was very humbled by the wonderful introduction that Alex made as she is just as special to me. Last year was a rough year and part of what made it even harder was the fact that she was half a country away. I am so thankful that circumstances have brought her back to Dallas where we can continue to share life together and she can fulfill one of my little dreams; teaching my son kindergarten.

I love the picture above because it was the very first time that Alex ever got to hold Bronson. Kyle and I were freaks about germs and it was because of this that many of our friends and family didn't get the opportunity until after he arrived home from the hospital. By the time Alex is holding B in this picture he is actually bigger than a couple of her children were at the time of their birth. It wasn't for lack of involvement that Alex didn't get to hold B sooner. One of my fondest and most cherished memories is that Alex and her parents all decided to be there for us on the day of Bronson's delivery. The power of the prayer and love that we felt knowing that they were there can not be explained in words. It is a little treasure that I will forever store in my love tank. Alex too says that she recalls the exact moment that they wheeled our little two pound miracle out of the c-section room and how it felt to know that he was locking eyes with each person that was hoping to catch a glimpse of him. I know that watching the miracle of Bronson's birth and growth has made an impact on Alex's life as it has many, but I don't know if she knows how much her support has meant to me.

This year's women's retreat focused on friendship traits. We were so blessed to have a speaker that poured her heart out to us in regards to pregnancy loss and infertility and integrated the story of Ruth and Naomi in showing how God is forever writing our story and blessing us even in our seasons of suffering and uncertainty. I have been able to attend several women's retreats in the past and this year stands out as the best. It was amazing how each and every aspect of  women's retreat flowed into the next and how God used Kim Bucher's story to lead into Robyn's next message and provided the appropriate words during my story to lead into the next message. God's hands were all over the place. It was also a weekend of many tears as many of my friends could relate to the heart ache associated with pregnancy loss, infertility, or stillbirth. I am thankful that God provided me the strength throughout the weekend when I needed it and allowed me to love on women that needed it too.

I have mentioned several times on my blog how thankful I am for our church family. I firmly believe that attending Grace Community Church has been such a life source for Kyle and I. It is a place that is woven into so much of our story. I am so thankful for the sweet and wonderful friendships that we have made in our last twelve years and I look forward to many more retreats learning more about the women that I call my church family.