Thursday, February 4, 2010

A Confession...

I want another baby really bad. For some reason for the past couple of weeks I have been having this strong desire to have another baby. Then I think logically and talk myself out of this completely crazy idea. I can barely handle one baby, what am I thinking about adding another one to the mix? Also, I don't think that this idea would go over so well with my incredibly driven husband. We have a game plan and I must stick to it. I also really want to be in a better place finanically so I don't have to worry so much when my next little one is a baby. Here I go speaking of my next little one...I think I just have to say outloud that I think I am slowly getting over being scared of the unknown with another one. I think that God is preparing my heart for the maternal instincts and clock to start once again. I don't know when it will happen, but I know that I am strongly beginning to desire to add to our family again.

I don't know if anyone else has experienced this intense feeling while looking through pictures of your oldest, but it just makes me long for that "baby stage" again. I still refer to Bronson as my baby, but I know the day is coming soon when he will correct me and beg me to refer to him as a big boy. For now, I will just hold him a little tighter and longer and treasure the times that I have with him still wanting to cuddle. Seriously, this isn't an announcement there aren't any new ones on the way, but my heart is slowly softening to the idea of another one sometime after Bronson gets a bit bigger. Thinking maybe 4 or 5.