Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Into His Arms

Dear Sweet Angel of Mine,

Several days of the year I am reminded of your presence. I can say that I am at a point in my daily life that I can go a day without dwelling on you not being here. I used to feel selfish if a day didn't go by that you weren't my first thought. I imagine you looking down from above and being proud that we have all made it so far in such little time. I will NEVER get over the loss of being able to raise you, but I do believe that there must have been bigger plans for you. We have always thought of you as Bronson's hero. I know that the ultrasound tech would have never been concerned over Bronson's heart if they hadn't known what had happened to you just weeks before.

Speaking of Bronson. He is such a joy to me. It delights me when he mentions that he has a brother. He is very excited to be having a new cousin. Your Auntie Ashley is having a little boy. There is not a day that goes by that we don't pray for her health and the safe and full-term delivery of her little baby. Bronson asked for two brothers for Christmas. I guess part of his wish came true...he will have a little boy to hang out with.

We still haven't decided when and if we will be having more kiddos. As I have already said, Bronson fills our hearts with so much love and joy that I sometimes wonder if I can possibly fit anymore in. I know for a fact that I can, because I love you just as much. It is a different kind of love. I never have to fear for you. I know exactly where you are and I rest assured that you are safe in His arms. I do not have to tell you to rest in peace, because I know that you are in heaven. Someday I will see you, but for now I will spend my days taking care of your little brother.

Love always,

Mommy

No comments: