This post has been rewritten in my mind several times over the last few days. I realized recently that I own very little from my childhood. The one item that even my little sister remembers from our childhood is a little mickey mouse cup that I won at a cake contest when I was in the 2nd grade. The cup holds fonds memories for me; my sister had our "real" dad for the night and I got to bring my step-dad Kyle. I believe that it was father/daughter night at church. Ashley and I actually reminisced about this the last time she was here visiting. As I glanced at this cup on my bathroom counter about a week ago, I realized that although my childhood has been somewhat shattered, this cup has remained strong.
I realize now that my stability has had to come from other places than from my parents. I find stability in my relationship with my husband and more importantly in my relationship with God. As I have become a mother I find that my relationship with God becomes more centered in my ministry to mother Bronson. Yes, at this time I feel my main mission is to be a loving wife and mother. There are days that I feel I am going a million miles a minute, but as I put my little boy to sleep at night I never forget how thankful I am that God provided me such a wonderful little boy and answered all of our prayers by letting him be a part of our family.
Tonight as I sang Bronson to sleep, I listened closely to the words I sang. I have never really let the words of Jesus Loves Me sink in, but tonight I did. I almost wanted to change the words from Jesus loves me, this I know...because the bible tells me so to Jesus loves me, this I know...because he has provided me with such a wonderful blessing in you. I truly know that Jesus loves me despite of myself. He loves every little thing about me and has provided me with such a wonderful family. This blog has become a sort of therapy for me as I deal with some extremely emotional issues. I firmly believe that God has allowed me this outlet to process my feelings and share with others situations that may also be happening in their lives.
I am so glad that my heart has been softened to God's quiet whispers. I am holding tightly to the promise that God hears all my thoughts and prayers. I also know without a doubt that He loves me. I realize as I put my sleeping angel down for the night that my love for my son is a mere fraction of the love our wonderful Jesus has for us that laid His life down for us, so that we may not suffer, but have eternal life. What a wonderful Savior we have!!!
