Friday, May 8, 2009

Are my tears in heaven?

I recently was talking to someone and explained to them that I have no more tears to cry. Why is that I am unable to cry for meaningful things in my life, but easily cry while watching something sad on tv? I noticed this last night as I began cleaning the house at 10pm. Grey's Anatomy really put me in an emotional mood. I think it is because cancer has affected my life and I don't take the diagnosis of cancer in a young person lightly. We never know when our time to go is, but only hope that we can give glory to God during our time on Earth.

My sister's good friend, Cody Williams was killed in an automobile accident this week and my heart broke as I listened to her cry from thousands of miles away. Although this event was incredibly sad to me, I can't find the tears to cry. I believe that my tears are being stored somewhere in heaven right now. I shed my fair share of tears in the months before Bronson was born and have shed numerous tears afterwards, but in the past 8 months it has been very hard for me to cry about anything in my life. It doesn't mean I don't care; I just can't cry.

I write this because sometimes I think we need a good cry. I cry my eyes out at tv shows and movies that are not even a part of my life. It seems refreshing to have a good cry. Maybe for now my outlet will be to turn on sappy tv shows and have a good cry. You sure do feel better afterwards.