Bronson's 1st Trip to the Zoo

The boys on the elephant bike

The Deets Family

Daddy and Bronson on the train

Landen's girlfriend

We spent the day at the zoo yesterday with some great friends. We met up with Noah and his family and took Jim and Christen along for Bronson's 1st experience. We have decided that we probably won't take Bronson again until he is closer to 3, but he still had a great time. It was also nice for all of us to get to see Noah, Breazy, and Landen. Kyle and Noah were really close in grade school and our sons are only a year apart. Bronson wasn't really that interested in the animals, but loved watching Landen do stuff that was deemed BIG BOY. He demanded that we let him walk for pretty much the entire zoo route and decided to stay awake the entire day. We are still trying to get him back on a semi-schedule today. We think his favorite part was the train ride. My favorite memory was when I was showing him a big bear and all the sudden Bronson responded with, "Wow, a tree!" He loves trees and they seemed to be more interesting to him than the animals. Also, we found that because it was so hot many of the animals were hiding and we weren't able to see them. We did have a great time, but think Bronson will enjoy it better when he is older. For this trip, I did take pictures!

Memories of a Parent

Don't you just love listening to members of your family tell stories about you when you were little that you don't remember? Especially stories about you when you were a baby. I have noticed that in the age of data that we become more and more accustomed to toting our cameras wherever we go. I also notice that I take a great deal of time taking pictures when Kyle and I take Bronson places. When I was little people still took a great deal of pictures of me (I was the 1st grandchild on my mom's side), yet a lot of the stories that my parents have told me do not have pictures to back up their stories.

On Friday night Kyle and I decided to take Bronson to the Dallas Aquatic Center. I had already taken him recently to play with Connor, but wanted daddy to see Bronson in action. I purposely left the camera at home so that I could just enjoy the experience and capture the memories in my heart rather than digitally. Kyle and I both had a great time with Bronson. We have spent the weekend replaying how much fun we had. I would have loved to have a picture of him floating down the lazy river in a inner-tube, but feel that the memory in my heart is all the more precious. Some memories between families should just stay that sentimental.

Bronson: 17 Month Update

Bronson eating chocolate for breakfast
The Fabulous Foursome with baby at Silver Creek Falls

The Deets Family at Silver Creek Falls

Mommy and Daddy on Weekend Away

Bronson's New Haircut

What a great smile he has...

This blog is a day early because I am feeling well rested. Kyle and I just got back from a much needed vacation with four of our great friends to Sunriver. Bronson spent the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa in Blodgett. We think he must have had a great time playing in his new pool and sandbox, because he didn't act like he really wanted to leave. Although Kyle and I missed him very much this was a great vacation for us. We spent the weekend floating the river, watching movies, shopping, and riding bikes. It was also nice to spend some time getting to know Jill's husband, David better. The guys had quite the adventures together, including an unplanned 8 mile bike ride before dinner. (Next time remember not to lock your keys in the other vehicle Jim).

Here are some quick stats for Bronson's update:

• He weighs around 20 pounds
• He is 30 1/2 inches tall
• He has 7 teeth
• He says: mama, dada, ya-ya, banana, TREE (his favorite), no-no, Huey, please, thank-you and other random words when he wishes
• He signs: all done, more, thank-you, please, and eat
• He walks more than crawls
• He loves swimming
• He had his 1st haircut by daddy on Memorial Day and now looks all boy
• He now is trying to have regular playdates with Nathan and Ayden, but due to sickness hasn't had as many as mommy would like.

Love to all-Amber

Sharing Salvation

You may have noticed while reading my blog that I choose to share a great deal about God's blessings in my life. I realize while reading through the history of my blog that I don't often open up about my testimony or what salvation means to me. I had this idea pop into my head at 1am this morning about a blog titled, sharing salvation.

What causes someone to share their testimony or the story of Jesus Christ? Why is it that I have an easier time sharing the gospel with a perfect stranger than with a member of my family? I haven't pondered this question in awhile until I begin reading the end of my book, Riven by Jerry Jenkins. The pastor in the book is incredibly distraught because he doesn't feel that he is bringing anyone to the Lord. I began to realize that I am not doing enough to share the gospel with others. I know that actions sometimes speak louder than words, but I often find myself upset with members of my family and hesitate to show them the love that I know that I need to.

I don't claim to be perfect, just forgiven. I am not religious. I believe that my salvation is based on a relationship with Jesus Christ and by accepting the truth that He has died for my sins so that I may have eternal life in heaven. I am stuck by the awful realization that I am a minority in my family. I was not raised in a Christian home. I actually attribute my learning about Jesus to my step-dad, Kyle, who was at the time an atheist. He believed that we still needed to go to church and would drop my sister and I off at church every Wednesday for missionettes (a youth event sponsored by People's Church). I was led in the sinner's prayer when I was in the 2nd grade, but didn't even grasp an understanding of salvation until I was closer to 12.

I was baptised when I was 12 in Salem at my church that I attended with my now "saved" step-dad Kyle. I remember now that I didn't really understand what baptism was; I believed in Jesus, but didn't understand the reason for water baptism. I tried to live a good life during my high school years. I wasn't always the nicest person to people and didn't do the best of things, but I tried to stay out of trouble. I became heavily involved in a VERY radial church my sophomore year of high school and now realize how much the effects of that experience have stayed with me.

In 2001 Kyle (my boyfriend at this point) and I began attending Grace Community Church in Dallas. We were looking for a home church to learn more about God and to experience a church family without a super traditional atmosphere. Music was incredibly important to me. The people were important to Kyle. I chose to be re baptized in August of 2003 before getting married, to be able to rededicate my life to Christ. Kyle had been baptized by Pastor Guy when he was 8 years old and still felt that he had grasped the experience and what it meant. I attribute this to being raised in a christian home. I truly believe that having a strong family foundation in your life can affect your decision of whether you follow Christ.

I am choosing to share my story because I am personally struggling with some immediate decisions. I have a few people in my life that I love very much. I know that they do not have a personal relationship with God. I also know that their decisions are affecting their children's lives. I struggle because I don't want to ruin our relationship by bringing up their salvation, but I also don't want them to lose their souls for eternity. I long to be with my family someday in heaven. I know without a doubt that I will someday get to see my precious baby in heaven. I want these people to see their lost ones too. They continue to make very rash and horrible decisions for their lives and always wonder why it turns out the same. What should I do?

Are my tears in heaven?

I recently was talking to someone and explained to them that I have no more tears to cry. Why is that I am unable to cry for meaningful things in my life, but easily cry while watching something sad on tv? I noticed this last night as I began cleaning the house at 10pm. Grey's Anatomy really put me in an emotional mood. I think it is because cancer has affected my life and I don't take the diagnosis of cancer in a young person lightly. We never know when our time to go is, but only hope that we can give glory to God during our time on Earth.

My sister's good friend, Cody Williams was killed in an automobile accident this week and my heart broke as I listened to her cry from thousands of miles away. Although this event was incredibly sad to me, I can't find the tears to cry. I believe that my tears are being stored somewhere in heaven right now. I shed my fair share of tears in the months before Bronson was born and have shed numerous tears afterwards, but in the past 8 months it has been very hard for me to cry about anything in my life. It doesn't mean I don't care; I just can't cry.

I write this because sometimes I think we need a good cry. I cry my eyes out at tv shows and movies that are not even a part of my life. It seems refreshing to have a good cry. Maybe for now my outlet will be to turn on sappy tv shows and have a good cry. You sure do feel better afterwards.

I almost peed my pants

So I just fell out of my chair at work and couldn't get up. It was so hilarious that my co-worker, Michelle had to run to the bathroom because she couldn't stop laughing. Sometimes you need this kind of laughter to make your day go by well. It might be the lack of sleep that is making me clumsy. I shouldn't have blogged about Bronson sleeping. He didn't last night...

Diapers and Pillows

So I have to tell you a new little secret. Bronson has slept all through the night for the last 2 nights. The first night was due to his new sleeping companion, a pillow. Thanks so much Traci for helping me get over the negativity about a pillow. Last night he tried the new diapers for over night and wouldn't you know...he slept in until 9am. This has been one of the best days I have had in a long time. Thanks to all of those fellow mommies for the great ideas. Now we will move to have him sleeping in his own bed. I am just happy that he isn't waking up.

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

When I was pregnant Kyle and I talked a lot about our plans for our babies futures. A topic that came up often was the involvement of certain members of our family in the lives of our boys. We decided that we would allow them to be a part of their lives if they showed an interest, but whenever we felt that their lifestyles or choices were going to affect our sons we would draw the line. I know that Bronson is only 16 months old, but recently I have had to make several choices in regards to us being involved with certain friends and family. I have noticed that when I am around certain people or involve myself with them I feel unhappy and at times overwhelmed. I don’t think that it is healthy for Bronson to see his mommy in this state of mind. I also have noticed that for certain people we are always the ones to make the effort. Kyle and I have spoken about these thoughts and decided that it is best for all involved if we just drew the line.

I raise a question to others, when do you draw the line on members of your family or friends? (I add friends, because these types of relationships can be toxic too.) I recently had a conversation with one of those on my list of possible “bad eggs” and realized after the conversation that every bit of our conversation was a lie. I was included in this lie because I pretended that I cared. Why would I want to involve myself with them? They lie to me with every other word out of their mouths. I hate being lied to, but I was none the better. I pretended to be interested; I should have just hung up after saying I don’t have the time for this. I really don’t have time for the drama and lies. I have spent far too much of my life involved in the drama of others and have made a strong commitment to being done with it. If you look at my immediate family (son and husband) we don’t have this kind of drama.

My marriage is happy. I love my husband. I love his family. When we said, “I do” it was forever. When we decided to have children we decided to be their parents forever. Bronson is greatly blessed with a Grammy, papa, and nana that love him so much. Both of our parents relish in the title of grandparent. I never question whether they love him. Regardless of my dad’s situation I also know that he loves Bronson. It makes me sad to think that he won’t meet him until Bronson is almost 4 years old. Once again, he knows that one mess up and WE ARE DONE!!! I have a few family members in my life that make me question what I have done to them to make them not love me. Why do I do this to myself? Can a child even do something to make someone not love them?

I don’t often open up about my family situation on my blog. Sometimes things are difficult to discuss and I also don’t think that airing the dirty laundry is always acceptable. In this situation I post this blog to educate others about the affects of a blended family. THEY SUCK!!!! I know that some can attest that theirs has worked out. I have been involved in a total of four blended families and I have yet to see one work out. It is often the children that suffer the consequences of their parent’s problems. I have a friend right now that is struggling with the end of her marriage due to children circumstances. If you marry someone with kids you are marrying the kids too. Didn’t you know this before you got involved?

Kyle and I both strive to raise our son in a loving and functional home. We also want him to grow up knowing that his mommy and daddy love him and each other more than anything. We both feel that it is extremely important that parents put their marriages 1st and then the upbringing of their children. Last night we let Bronson stay with Grammy and Papa so that mommy and daddy could have some alone time. It is necessary for a marriage to have these quiet times. It is also necessary for a marriage to have open lines of communication. I can tell Kyle anything. I know that he will support my decisions and also real me in when I have gone too far. I feel that there are lots of people out there that need their mate to real them in a bit. This is why we have made the decision to permanently separate ourselves from certain members of our family. We used to believe it was just one bad egg, but realize that evil spurs evil. We don’t need this evil and drama in our lives. I feel so liberated to have made this decision. This also opens up some room on my calendar since I will no longer have the obligatory meetings so that they can see my cute baby. Have a great weekend!!!