I thought I would be a better mommy

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like a failure as a mother? I had one of those mornings. I woke up with less than 4 hours of sleep after a night spent dealing with a sick child and my patience was thin. I had to fulfill my responsibility of teaching eight 3 year old's a Sunday School lesson while Kyle stayed home with Bronson. After getting home I lost my cool. I yelled at Bronson. Before I had Bronson I didn't think that I would be a yeller. I had this little idea in my head that I would be the world's perfect mommy. Why did I think this? I really don't know. I think that everyone thinks that they will be the best parent before they are actually thrown in to do the job. I was talking with our good friend Andy last night and we discussed the saying, "Fake it until you make it." I think that sometimes that saying might be applied to my daily life of parenting.

Two year old's are tough. I love my little man beyond words, but I will also be the first one to admit that he can push my buttons better than any other person I know. I am striving to apply the principles of parenting that I believe in. Kyle and I are a blend of parenting principles. I know several people that might not like the way that we parent, but my feeling is that each parent has their right to define their own parenting style as long as they child is safe, loved, and nurtured. I would say that most of our believes include aspects of "attachment parenting," although we aren't a real strict policy holder of any one parenting method. Does this make us bad parents? I don't think so. It makes us REAL parents. Children are not born with an instruction manual and they take work on both parents parts. I am one lucky lady to have a strong and supportive husband that goes through these days with me.

Here are some of the things we strive to do with Bronson:

Per Dr. Sears' theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents such as the API attempt to foster a secure bond with their children by promoting eight principles which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight principles are:



1.Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting

2.Feed with Love and Respect

3.Respond with Sensitivity

4.Use Nurturing Touch

5.Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally

6.Provide Consistent Loving Care

7.Practice Positive Discipline

8.Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

I know that I am not doing any of these perfectly, but I am trying. I pray daily for guidance to teach Bronson that he is loved not only by his parents, but more importantly by God. I also want to teach him to love God and others. What have you done to prepare for parenthood? Any suggestions you would give to a first time parent? Our next step is to read, "Bringing Up Boys." As with any job, we study and continue on. I will spend some time tonight praying for forgiveness for being quick to lose my temper and give my son a kiss goodnight. I know that he is loved, safe, and taken care of. For now that is my answer to prayers.

And yes...sometimes he gets an easy day because I think back to this. Does this mean I am a pushover?

Beyond Blessed with Fall

Kyle, Bronson, Olivia, Me, and Alexis at Airlie Family Farms

Enjoying their apples

Making his "cutcakes"

Cousins

Our close up

The Deets Family October 2010

Playing with the pumpkins

My sweet little man

Funny Face #1

Funny Face #2

Sweet Olivia

Tractor rides

Riding the bikes

Walking to the corn maze

Oregon has been blessed with one of the most breathtaking Fall seasons that I can remember. We didn't have the best of weather this summer, but I think this string of beautiful days is more than making up for it. We have officially pulled out the Fall decorations and even started burning a few pumpkin scented candles. Despite Bronson being under the weather last week we made a quick visit to the pumpkin patch accompanied by Nana, Auntie Lexi, and Olivia. We really enjoy these types of trips and Bronson loved having his best cousin with him. We ended the afternoon with a visit at Nana's complete with making some cupcakes and pumpkin spice bars. I am so thankful for the weather allowing for us to enjoy the beautiful Fall colors and harvests. Bronson's favorite this month is apples. He has gotten quite good at eating an entire apple and especially loves picking "his" apple from the produce stands.

Enjoying my 20's

Bronson trying out his funny voice

Bronson eating B-day dinner with me

Bronson feeding the ducks

My 29th B-day

Christen, Kimberly, and I celebrating my 29th B-day

Kyle and I celebrating (I really love this guy)

Kimberly and I celebrating some more

That is right, I have one more year of my 20's left. I just turned 29 on the 12th of September and plan to make this last year in my 20's the best ever. I had a fantastic birthday this year starting off with a party thrown by my co-workers. I then went out with some friends for dinner and drinks on Friday night. On Saturday (my actual birthday) we took Bronson to feed the ducks and ate dinner in Corvallis. Kyle got me the best present ever. He had Bronson paint me two paintings on canvas' for the dining room. They are so special.

More than a break

I haven't been able to write in quite awhile. Life has been going about 60 mph as I have been trying to put on the brakes. Life is great! I don't have any complaints; however, I do wish it would slow down a bit. It dawned on my yesterday that Bronson is getting close to 3 years old. Kyle asked if this means that he will no longer be considered a toddler. I really didn't really have an answer to that question. Can you believe it? I don't really know when a parent stops thinking of their child as a little baby. I know that I no longer consider him an infant, but I believe that he will always be my little baby boy.

My job is even better than I imagined. I am busy the majority of the day and find that 8 hours goes by quickly. As a department our Graduate Office met their enrollment goal for Fall Term and we all threw a little celebration complete with confetti. It reminds me to enjoy the simple things in life. The staff here at Western Oregon University are a great group to work with.

I will post new pictures with my next blog, but for now a quick ponder of where all the time has gone.