Saturday, October 15, 2011

Almost 4...

In just a little over 2 months my son will be 4. I notice that Kyle and I are beginning to answer the question of Bronson's age with "almost 4". The age of 4 is a really big deal to me because at this age is when I have my first of many childhood memories. At the age of 4 was also my biggest life change; the divorce of my parents. I think often of what I was able to process at that young of an age and I realize that many of the conversations that I am now having with my little boy may be conversations that he remembers for life. I find myself having pretty deep and meaningful conversations with my little boy who seems to be growing up right before my eyes. It is hard to imagine that just four years ago he could literally fit into the palm of our hands.

I love Bronson so much that sometimes I feel that my heart could literally burst at the seams. His personality has the best combination of intellect, sense of humor, and compassion of any one person in my life. He has such a deep awareness of the world around him and never ceases to amaze me with the conversations that he is capable of having. Often I find myself expecting more of him than might be possible because he is such a smart little boy. Just this week he recited his first book, The Tooth Book all the way through word for word. When I told him that my voice was gone tonight for story time he politely responded by saying, "Don't worry mommy, I will read to you." I wish I could wrap just a piece of his sweetness into a box to open whenever I am feeling sad or lonely.

As I put Bronson to bed tonight we had a rather deep conversation. He asked me what makes me happy. He told me that I keep him in a good mood. He asked if he makes me happy. I told him that he always brings me joy! He then wanted to know if he had a sister somewhere because he would really like to have a sister. He then proceeded to tell me for Christmas that he would like a sister, a helmet, a motorcycle and a new bible. He said that he wanted to be a big brother and needed to learn how to read after Christmas so that he could read his whole bible. His desire to learn about God delights me more than I thought possible.

For the next couple of months I am going to cherish my 3 year old and continue to relish the possible conversations that we can have. I hope that bedtimes provide Kyle and I with plenty of opportunities to share Bible stories with Bronson and our love of each other and our family. I don't know if Bronson will continue to ask for a sibling for Christmas. Last year he kept asking for a brother, but he told me that Oaklen was "close enough." Unless one of my sisters wants to have a little girl I think that my kiddo is going to keep asking for a sibling. What a sweet sweet boy who has no clue of the battle that goes on in my heart when he asks for such things.

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