Friday, April 15, 2011

Giving it all you got

Early years of marriage
Several concepts have been circulating in my head lately. Each time I begin to write a post I decide that it is not that exciting and another week passes before getting all my thoughts out there. This week has been more intense than most. The intensity of this week has been a balance of incredibly powerful changes in my heart and a stress level that is a little beyond manageable. Life is still so good! I don't mean to make this statement shallowly; I just feel blessed. I have realized lately that you get out of life what you put into it. The same statement applies in your personal relationship with Christ. I had been following a path that was rambling about the journey in several different directions, it is nice to have focus.

I have decided to make it my personal goal to complete a few tasks as I balance my life. Following in tradition of my friend Traci, I will list them:

  • Be the best help-mate that I can be to Kyle: Devote my attention and extra time to making him feel important, special, and wanted. If I am feeling a lack of those things it might be because I am not putting forth enough effort towards the relationship. It makes such a difference in your relationship when you really make the person your #1. In our family it is God first, spouse second, kids third...this isn't always easy, but to make marriage work it must happen. It so helpful to know that Kyle's love language is words of affirmation. I am making a concerted effort towards keeping his "love tank" full. I am tired of taking my wonderful husband for granted and want him to feel valued. I notice how much the difference in jobs for us both has led to a greater daily attitude. Kyle and I both feel passionate about our careers and valued in our positions. It makes such a difference in home life when you also enjoy your career.
  • Be the best mommy that I can be to Bronson: Take time to model good behavior. This includes showing love towards both Bronson and others. I read a blog this week that made a huge impact on me. It is so important to treat your partner with respect so that your children know respect. Children like to mirror your attitudes and language and it is important to model good behavior for them. The blog writer said that they desired for their children to think of them happy doing whatever they chose to do, whether working or SAHM. I have realized how true this statement is for Bronson's overall behavior. I know that some may think that working moms don't devote their lives enough to their children, but I disagree. I am the best mom I can be to Bronson because I work outside of my home. Bronson is in great care and when I leave him I know that he is loved and well taken care of. I do not work to buy him "better things." I work because I enjoy it and also because sometimes in life it is not possible to survive on one income. Instead of being sad that I work, I need to let my light shine to Bronson. When he knows that I am happy, it makes him feel more secure. He knows that mommy loves her job and that mommy loves him. He knows that if he needs a mommy day I will drop whatever I need to be right there by his side. He also knows that the time that I spend with him at night is quality time. My son is flourishing because he knows that both of us are happy. I would also like to think that he knows how much both of his parents value education and want to see people from all walks of life have the chance to attend college.
  • Stop being negative: I actually have been using my friend Jill's mantra a lot. Let go, let God. Don't sweat the small stuff. I can't control other people's behavior, only my own. I have become a bit more of a homebody, but I am more happy. It is exhausting trying to please everyone and burning candles at both ends. I enjoy having weekends and evenings that have nothing more planned that hours spent playing and cuddling with my family. I have noticed that it prepares me for a better outlook on life. It is also allows me to take time to count my blessings.
Whatever hand you are dealt in life, embrace it. Life is not supposed to be easy, but I have realized with a little faith it is more blessed.