Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Life Changes

hope that this blog works, so that I can get some of my feelings down on the computer. The last couple of days have been very difficult, yet at the same time some of the most precious times. I am starting to get into the routine of being a NICU mommy. Not an easy job, but I wouldn't trade being with my son for the world. Kyle is currently commuting back and forth from the Guest House to work. He said that he can't stand staying at our house away from Bronson and I. It is so cute how his hands look like they can't stand another minute of waiting to hold Bronson once he walks into the NICU. Bronson is such a good baby and instantly calms down and when either of us hold him.

I recently had someone ask me about what I did all day. One person even asked me if my days were boring...After evaluating this question I realized that many people can't even begin to imagine my situation. Just 10 days ago I gave birth to two heaven sent angels. Within an hour of having my c-section I had to say goodbye to my previously called home angel and then barely got a glance of my little Bronson before being wheeled back to my room and starting a journey of griefing and mothering through an isolette. For all of you that haven't thanked God for making you a parent, please take the time. I would love to be able to grab my kiddo and squeeze on him. Kyle and I say all the time that our biggest dream is having Bronson home so that we can see his entire body and look him over from head to toe. Our life with Bronson doesn't provide the opportunity to touch or hold him like most parents with newborns. Our one holding a day is the best part of our days. Yesterday I was lucky enough to get to hold my little man twice. It was the best part of my day.

In the midst of this journey I am reminded constantly how much I have been blessed. God gave me the most amazing husband. He is such an amazing man and husband. The only reason that I am able to even half act sane during this time is because I have such a wonderful husband. Kyle is also the best daddy in the world. I can't wait to see how he is with Bronson in all stages of our lives. Kyle and Bronson share this bond that I never thought would be even this big. Everyone told us that kids would change our lives, that was a total understatement. Bronson has made our marriage and life better than we could have ever imagined and we had a great marriage to begin with.

Many have recently asked about coming for a visit. Please call and make sure it is okay before driving down here. There are some major rules in regards to visitors and rather than you getting your feelings hurt, please allow me to share some of these rules.

1. No smokers
2. No one with small children, they carry germs that we don't know about until after they get sick
3. If you are sick or have been sick, please don't risk the chance we will send you home

We don't have these rules to be rude, we are PROTECTIVE parents. We are not OVERPROTECTIVE. We want our son to have the best chance as possible to get out of this NICU in the next six weeks. We don't want to be here for eight weeks. Please understand our rules as the need to make a safe haven for our baby boy.

I guess I better get going. I will write more later. I have so much on my heart. I can't even begin to describe the love I have for my little family. I am so blessed. Please keep praying. We can feel it and our baby boy loves prayers. We pray with him everynight before bed and he is sooo happy after hearing the precious name of Jesus on our lips. Love to all-Amber