Summer Vacation 2012

Our family vacation started with VBS Sunday. Our little man performed in his first church service and was beyond adorable! Ashley brought Oaklen over for a visit that afternoon and we had so much fun having him to ourselves for a sleepover and fun at Wacky Bounce the next day!

Wacky Bounce was fun, but we made for an even more memorable evening at the Drive-In with Grandpa when Bronson puked promptly 10 minutes before the movie Brave started. It was caused by a choking episode, but still made for quite the memory.

The next day we headed out to the beach to stay at Beverly Beach and camp with Summer, Ayden, and Alanna. It was a fun trip except we had to leave promptly at 2am because Bronson had a very bad reaction to the camp fire and couldn't stop coughing.

Because of the possibility that Bronson was actually sick we canceled our 4th of July BBQ and had my dad over to celebrate with us. It was a fun BBQ and fireworks kind of night!

The next day Bronson and I went swimming at Otter Beach while Kyle worked on our free truck!

The next day Bronson and I went swimming with our friend Jenn at the country club. We had lots of fun!

Saturday of vacation week was our annual Philomath Car Show. This year we barely got the Corvette ready because of a major foul with one of the parts. I say we, because I actually drove down to Junction City to get the part. We had fun, but the heat was a bit too much!

The last day of our vacation was the best. We spent the evening in our backyard on the Slip n' Slide and had a nice BBQ. Kyle doesn't remember much of the great part of this day because he ended up sick at 2am and the following day I had to take him the ER to get fluids. Overall, we had a great and memorable vacation. What more could we ask for?

When God Speaks to Me

The last couple of weeks have been hard on me as a parent. I have found myself exhausted at night and looking to the heavens above for understanding of why my 4 year old all the sudden has decided to be  disrespectful, stubborn, and often times a nearly hateful child towards me. I shake my head as I hear him recite exact phrases and words that I say to him when he is doing something wrong. My heart breaks when I ask him to apologize and I feel that he is only saying sorry because he knows that is what I want to hear, rather than truly feeling repentance for what he has done wrong. Despite his feisty behavior these last couple of weeks my love for him has NEVER changed and NEVER will. This boy is my heart. I feel blessed to be his mom and love that at night despite all of our struggles during the day he wants me to hold him and make him feel safe.

As I was driving to work the other day I felt a huge tug at my heart as I realized how much my relationship with my son is a direct mirrored relationship with my Lord above. How often does he shake his head at me as I continue to put Him on the back burner? Even worse He can tell when I continue to repent for something that I know I will continue to do. He knows my heart. He knows that I love Him. How often do I really show Him the respect He deserves and how much He means to me? I believe that God has given me Bronson to teach me some of the most important life lessons. He has given me trials so that I can feel pain and know that He is still there. This stage of Bronson's sour behavior and disrespect will pass. As it does I hope that it serves as a reminder to me to stay close to God and remember that He deserves my love, respect, and true repentance.

Random Thoughts

Parenting a 4 year old...

Do you ever have one of those days when a thousand and one thoughts are floating through your head and you can't really focus on any certain idea or concept? Today is one of those days. I think that it started out with having to put my 4 year old son in time-out twice in the 20 plus minutes that we get to spend with each other in the morning. My mood fluctuated from serious frustrated to trying not to laugh despite myself all in the span of a very few seconds. I really dislike the sassy stage that Bronson is going through right now. I know that I might be putting too much stress on myself at times, but I always worry about the way I am parenting him right now and how it will affect him in the future. I think that he seems rather content in his normal daily life and I hear that he is a "perfect angel" for others, but he has such an attitude towards me and sometimes Kyle. Apparently I am a mean mommy who "always yells." I asked him what yelling is and he replied with it is someone that always tells him what to do.

I would agree that I probably do give him more commands than his father, but I am the one who gets him ready every morning (his worst time of the day) and normally finishes the night-time routine. These are not easy tasks for a child that doesn't go to sleep early and wishes he could stay in bed until noon. I am not really looking for advice, but using this as a sharing session for my frustrations at this stage of parenting. It is a not an easy one, but still remains the most rewarding position I have. Despite his little outbursts of rudeness there is nothing like watching his little legs pedal around our cul-de-sac on a bike that he still is a little too small for.

Another thought...

When trying to lose weight...hang out with your skinny friends. This might sound kind of lame, but surround yourself with people that are going to support your weight loss journey and will not tempt you to eat/do things that you shouldn't. One of my close work friends is so health conscious that I would NEVER EVER buy a doughnut around her. I don't think that there has been a time in the past 6 months that I have indulged in something I shouldn't have with her. This is a very healthy decision for me as I spend a lot of my coffee/lunch breaks with her. It is also okay to ask for your significant other to help be the food police. It keeps you honest. Kyle has been slacking a bit on policing me, but I still could never fully indulge in sugar without a little look from across the table. I appreciate this as I continue to try to figure out what is healthy for me and my lifestyle. I am still down 20 and holding. It has been over 2 weeks since I have lost any weight. I think it might have been the cheated doughnut that I had with another friend a couple of weeks ago or the lack of willpower that I have had for staying away from coffee. I started 3 days ago back into the strictness of my previous program and  I have to say I do feel better.

Last thought...(at least that I will write about)

I hope that my hubby has an amazing Father's Day. This is the 2nd year in a row that I have gotten the weekend to myself on Father's Day. WOU's graduation always happens to land on this weekend and I get to work. Kyle doesn't want to wait around the house for me, so he makes more exciting plans. This weekend he is going to Redmond to visit his 91 year old Grandpa. I know that it will be a busy weekend for him, but I am really looking forward to a time of relaxing and catching up with some of my girlfriends. Since he doesn't read this blog I can say that his gifts will include a wonderfully clean house when he returns along with a home cooked dinner of seafood.

Bronson trying out his new slip n' slide

Yes, it was very cloudy

Relay for Life 2012

Walking for my sister, Ashley Sult

Heart Push

God, where do you want me to go? What do you want me to do? These are often the hardest questions to ask because I am such a planner, independent, and want to do things by myself. It is part of the reason that I have done everything according to the 5 year plan and very rarely taken the leap of faith to step out of my comfort zone. As my life has slowly starting making it's journey towards being physically healthy again I feel a strong urge towards recommitting my life and making myself stronger spiritually. God has been prodding me to open my bible more, read His words, and take time to love on His people. He is calling me to have stronger meaningful relationships, give when I don't feel I can, and to say No when I normally would say Yes despite being maxed out. I love when the Lord prods me to rekindle my relationship with Him. I am thankful that He has provided to me an ample amount of love, blessings, and most importantly forgiveness. I pray that I can go where He leads and take those huge leaps of faith even when it is not comfortable for me.

Date Nights

After 8 1/2 years of marriage I find that it is extremely important to place an emphasis on finding a time for date night. It becomes even more important for a relationship to find time for each other after you have kids. Kyle and I often find ourselves reminding Bronson that Mommy and Daddy need time to talk to each other because just like we love him, we love each other. He is slowly starting to get the concept that Mommy and Daddy are an "item."

In 1997 when Kyle and I started dating it was a whirlwind of emotions. It is really hard to explain the intensity of the feelings I immediately felt for Kyle. I remember telling him that I originally couldn't date him because I knew that if I started dating him I would end up marrying him. It seemed kind of crazy for a 15 year old to be muttering those words, but I knew that Kyle was the complete package and saw that he would provide exactly what someone should look for in a relationship; honesty, integrity, compassion, and genuine love. Slowly, but surely our friendship turned into something else and Kyle spent the greater part of 3 1/2 years (high school and first years of college) providing me many romantic gestures/gifts. The above picture is one of the many things that he made for me as a gift. The list of home-made items made by Kyle include, a memory box for all of our dating memorabilia, a jewelry box, this frame, key chains, and many poems. Kyle showed me a very romantic side of himself that at 15-18 years old I thought would never end. I am here to say that if I held on to the notion that romance was what made our relationship, ours wouldn't be half of what it is today.

As seniors in high school one of our teachers assigned us the task of writing letters to ourselves and to our loved ones of what we would be doing 10 years later. The teacher would then mail them out to us on our 10 year reunion. I will never forget reading the letter from my 18 year boyfriend (Kyle) the weekend before our 10 year high school reunion. The last line said, "By now you and I are living one of the greatest love stories this world has ever known." How true those words were written by an 18 year old kid in love with his high school girlfriend. The lines reminded me that even though my husband might not have the time to make me things or write romantic love poems, he remains the most romantic man I know. He is ALWAYS there for me. He never for one minute shrugs his responsibility and love for our son. He has been my rock through some of the hardest times in my life.

Kyle remains my best friend in all of the world. Last night was one of our date nights. I knew more than anything that he would love a date night that included one of his hobbies; working out. I reluctantly agreed to join him at the local gym and after a nice dinner at our favorite local dinner spot we worked out from 9-10:30. It was one of the best dates we have had in a long time. We got lots of time to talk about things that were on our hearts, cuddle on the couch, and work up a sweat at the gym. I reminded him that he is the reason I am so driven to succeed on my health journey. I want to work hard to be back to my original healthy lifestyle. We both made a few comments about the night reminding us of high school. We used to spend many nights going to the local gym to work out. It was fun to have that reminder, but to realize that after all the romance fizzles out or gets pushed to the side, what keeps a couple strong is their love and commitment to each other. Kyle, I will love you for the rest of my life.

Heartful

10mos, Bronson

Today is one of those days as a WFHM that I really wished I could just for a day be a SAHM. I miss my little boy like crazy. Four years old is such a genuine age of love and compassion. Bronson gives the best hugs and I have the best conversations with him right before he drifts off to sleep. I love the last little minutes before his eyes close that he shares with me his daily activities and engages me in his inside thoughts and feelings. My heart is bubbling over with love for my little boy. Kyle and I continue to stare across our dinner table at each other in awe of this blessing that God has given us. I feel so abundantly full of love for my son. I feel that this love that we feel for our children is just a mere glimpse of the love that Jesus must have felt for us as he prepared to die on the cross for each and everyone of our sins. The joy of parenthood has been one of my biggest reminders of God's love for me.