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Showing posts with label Bronson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bronson. Show all posts

Friday, November 2, 2012

Sensitive Heart

Look at the little hand in this picture placed gently on the back of Oaklen. My mind keeps coming back to this picture after looking at it yesterday during my photo edits The picture itself is a bit blurry, but it speaks volumes to my heart. Meet my heart, my sensitive heart. My heart that literally hurts when I see others struggling in their health, life, or just relationship troubles. I had a thought the other day that I can finally see why some people just choose to pack a small bag and leave reality for a couple of days. My heart is not this way because of depression or sadness, please don't get my sensitive heart confused with a sad one. I am asking God to give me a heart that is more loving, kind, and gentle. He has started answering my prayers and I realize that with this answered prayer a lot of things that I used to just ignore grieve my heart. I have actually had two opportunities in the past week to be more honest with my friends than I have in the past. Ash and I actually talked how we will sometimes silently be praying for others while they are talking to us because when we see their struggles it makes our hearts ache.

Last week I had a realization that a friend was headed down a serious destructive path. I realized that she was no longer the woman that I met nearly 5 years ago. Every time I see her I feel that she is more depressed than before hiding behind a fake smile. In the past I would have just taken the wordly view of "it's none of my business," but then I realized that this "broken" heart is one that Jesus wants to mend. She used to love the Lord so much and I realized that if I continued to say, "it's okay" while she continued to go down this destructive path she would continue to get worse. I finally prayed as she was talking to me and out of love told her that I was VERY concerned about her lifestyle and her heart. I told her that her focus needs to be on God first and then family. That I loved her tremendously, but not even a fraction of the amount that God loves her. I felt that we ended on a good note. I keep praying that perhaps I will hear from her soon and that some life changes are in progress.

Getting back to the little hand placed gently on his cousin's back. Imagine a very LARGE hand placed over our hearts. God can do that for us if we just ask. He is currently massaging my heart muscles into being more obedient to his commandments. Instead of turning a blind eye to others he is asking that I take a leap of faith and share the good news of His son, Jesus Christ. He is asking that I strive to be a better example in my relationships and that I continue to have a sensitive heart against sin and direct disobedience to His word.



Sunday, March 1, 2009

Extreme Home Makeover

Did anyone else watch Extreme Home Makeover tonight? I did because I was told that the people being honored with a new home were a couple that did a lot of work for March of Dimes and also had a premature infant. I am glad that I watched the show, but realized in the middle that it brought forward an EXTREME flood of emotions. I don't normally watch the show because it has the ability to make me cry extremely hard for complete strangers, but tonight was even different. The woman on the show was such an inspiration. She had taken her experience as a NICU mommy and turned it into something positive by helping others in similar situations. She has became famous for photographing infants that are either stillborn or have very little time left on earth.

This was the part that hit an emotional nerve with me. My biggest regret in regards to Jackson is that we did not have photographs taken. These are some of my most private thoughts when I think about the day that I delivered our twins. I regret that I was too overcome by emotions and fear that I didn't take the time to treasure the few moments that Kyle and I had with our heavenly angel. Part of this was beyond my control, things weren't done exactly how they were supposed to be done. I know that he was no longer here on Earth, but I wish for just once that I had the opportunity to hold him or that I had just one picture of his precious body. Kyle sometimes talks about how much Bronson looks like him. I struggle to recall such memories because the memory of seeing him still sometimes strikes such a painful nerve. The only things that I physically have of Jackson are his footprints and two photographs that a nurse took of his little feet. I thank God for people such as the woman on Extreme Home Makeover that do a professional job of helping families preserve such an intimate moment in their lives. I would suggest that anyone that is ever put into this type of situation have the opportunity to have pictures taken of their loved one. I also thank God for the many nurses that helped us during our time at Sacred Heart. The two nurses that helped us by creating a memory box for Jackson are so very near and dear to my heart.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Bronson on the Move!!!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Super Excited!!!

I am super excited for the following things. Some of them are more exciting than others, but still I am so excited.

1. Tomorrow is the day that my dear friend Summer finds out the gender of her next baby. Her son Ayden is Bronson's best friend. Our super good friends, Matt and Alex are having their 3rd boy in June and we couldn't be more happy for them.

2. I had my March of Dimes luncheon yesterday and it was the best small event that I have been to in a long time. Kimmy (our event coordinator) is a woman after my own heart. I am so excited to work with someone on a charity event that is so organized. The luncheon got me super pumped for the upcoming March for Babies. I even won a sweatshirt.

3. I am planning our 10 year class reunion. Our class president contacted me asked for help. I have a great group of girls that are helping me and I am sure that it should be a great event. I wasn't really sure if I would even go, but now I am looking forward to it.

4. Although my husband is sick, I am excited for this weekend. We have NO plans!!! Our only plan is to spend time with each other and maybe take our son out to lunch. He is loving food of all types right now, so we were thinking about Red Robin. (We have a gift certificate, another thing to be happy about.)

5. We finally found a family doctor in Dallas. This has been a prayer of ours for awhile. Kyle and I both wanted a more local doctor and we found one that just so happens to go to our Church. Two bonus points for this answered prayer. Thanks Mitch for the referral.

6. Bronson is getting so close to full-time walking. All of his new steps in life are making me so excited. Last night he had his first "fast-food" of a Quizno's sandwich. It might sound weird but it made me so happy to give him something like this. I guess that it validated the feeling that he is OKAY and SO STRONG!!!!!

7. Last, but not least. I am excited for the new Men's Bible Study at our church. Kyle is getting to go once a month to this event and it will give him a chance to reconnect with some of his friends that he doesn't get to see all of the time.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Farewell Faithful Friend

If breastfeeding posts make you squeamish, skip this post. This is an ode to my speedy companion, the breastpump. Today marks my final day of washing parts, bottles, and various other things that accompany this pump. Yes, I am filled with a huge sense of relief after pumping full-time for over 13 months, but I am also a little sad.

Prior to getting pregnant, I was always one of those people that could never imagine myself breastfeeding. Everything seemed so foreign to me. It wasn't until I discovered that I would be having a premature baby that the need for breastmilk became a reality to me. The doctors told me the day that I was admitted to Sacred Heart the importance of Bronson never having formula and I took this is as doctor's order and never let an once of formula cross his lips. I am also sad to say that except for twice in his life, my son had no desire to breastfeed, so hence the need for full-time pumping.

Until Bronson was 10 months old I pumped every three hours of every day (8 times a day). I was able to slow down a bit after that, but still pumped at least 6 times a day. Yes, this is kind of a brag. I am proud to say that I stayed with the program and allowed Bronson this precious gift. I also share this as encouragement to those that have had difficulty with nursing or pumping. I was so lucky to have 24 hour help with a lactation nurse for the first 2 months of Bronson's life. It also helps that one of our favorite NICU nurse's became one of our bestfriends and has helped me during those extremely difficult times.

I was also blessed with an extreme abundance of milk for the first six months of Bronson's life. My body still felt the need to produce for multiples. It wasn't able to adapt, because of the lack of nursing and the full-time pumping. I feel that this was God's way of allowing Jackson's legacy to carry out. I was able to donate several coolers of milk to our dear friend, a mother of triplets. I never thought in a million years that I would do something like this, however when asked I didn't hesitate. My thought was if someone else's preemie needs milk, why let it go to waste. This was such an amazing experience for me.

As I write this blog that was originally supposed to be short, I am reminded of several situations that this has put me in. I will never forget having to pump in the backseat of the Starker's car during Civil War half-time while Jim kept guard of the car for me so no one would see. I also recall having to pump in route to Sunriver because Bronson ran out of milk. I became less and less worried about what others thought and more focused on providing nutrition to my son. Thanks to those of you that have provided a "private" room for me in the past year so that I can pump. I am so thankful for such a supportive and loving group of family and friends. My goal to pump for Bronson's 1st year would not have been reached without the loving support of people willing to step in and hold Bronson once in a while so that I could pump. I think that it will be a life long joke around the Deets when someone says, I have to go pump. These five words have became a very often heard word around here.

As I end this post I want to say, this isn't for everyone. It requires a great deal of patience, time, and support, but it was way worth it. I only hope someday that if we have more children they choose to take the more natural way of nursing. The following is a list of benefits of pumping that were true for me:
  1. I lost tons of weight. I am about 7 pounds from weighing what I did when I got married.
  2. My son did stay healthier while his diet consisted of only breastmilk.
  3. I stayed healthier.
  4. It was tons cheaper. Our grocery budget has became so much more since he started eating whole foods.
  5. I felt a strong attachment and validation of being Bronson's mommy knowing that I was able to provide all of his nutrition for his first 9 months completely and then after he started on solids, all of his milk until 12 months.
  6. He has never had any food allergies, a strong bonus of breast fed babies.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Bronson at 13 months: January 2009




Bronson is now 13 months old. He spent his little day in the doctor's office trying to figure out what is wrong with him. I never hesitate to take him to the doctor's if he is not feeling well. I was just sure that he had an ear infection, but to our dismay he has his first real live COLD. Yes, I think I have complained about him having the sniffles before, but this is a big one. It sucks!!! I haven't been this sleep deprived since he was born. My whole body aches for sleep. I am going to be taking my MIL up on her offer to hold him Saturday night so that I can sleep. She loves him so much and I don't doubt that he will be getting some rest in her arms, while I get some rest in a big comfy bed.




Well, I am no longer sending out emails with Bronson's stats, so I will now be giving his monthly stats on this blog. I have to admit this month has seen some great strides in development and it seems that he is becoming such a big boy all of the sudden. With his big boy personality has come some major tantrums. His always easy going personality is going out the window, he is getting quite demanding and at times a little naughty. Yes, a baby can be naughty especially when he wants something that he can't have. Hence, example #1 and #2 on my kitchen counter: two broken candlesticks courtesy of Bronson William Deets and yes, I did use his full name when he broke the second one. I wasn't mad at him, but I really wish he would leave stuff alone. My house looks so bare because I had to totally babyproof aka toddler proof.




Here are his updates:




  • Weighs 19 pounds, 6 ounces


  • Height 27 3/4 inches long


  • New favorite word MAMA (I love it)


  • Favorite food: crackers


  • Learned how to crawl and walk all in the same day


  • Cruises by holding wall with one hand and then letting go to get to bigger and better things


  • Is obsessed with electronics and knows how to use the remote


  • Now requires us to pull him on blanket to put him to sleep


  • Favorite Person: Daddy


I hope that you enjoy the video, pardon the background noise. We were watching a movie that I would not recommend, the language was horrible!!!!